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Sincerely, your fed-up guardian angel

Updated: Jun 21, 2020


Guardian Angel (Corporate Division 1546)

3245 Golden Avenue,

Heaven

(123) 456-7890

angelsarentsupposedtohaveemails@heavenly.com

4th September 2019


GOD ALMIGHTY

(Creator of Earth, Head Guardian Angel)

Grand Palace,

Heaven.

Greetings Your Holiness,


I am writing this letter to lodge a serious complaint against my client. Now I remember, Your Holiness, when I first took this position, the vows I made to protect my client from Danger, no matter how much trouble she causes me, until the time comes for her to depart from Earth. I remember swearing to stay true to these vows but Your Holiness, this is getting out of hand.

My client is an obnoxious girl of fourteen years who has absolutely no regard for her life or for the lives of her fellow Earth-dwellers. Due to her antics, the Guardians of this division and I haven’t had a break since 2005 (the year she was born). The first thing she tried to do as soon as she was born was almost give her poor mother and the doctors around her a heart attack by doing a head dive off the hospital bed into a nearby dustbin. This division had to work overtime to help all those poor people’s hearts recover from the shock. It has only gone downhill from there. This girl pays no attention to safety precautions thus endangering herself and those around her. In her short fourteen years of living she has almost burned down her school, given the mayor of her town a heart attack, pushed her mother into a lake, given her little brother a concussion and almost died herself 235 times. Yes I know because it's my job to be counting. Half of my division is currently out of jobs because of all the untimely deaths she’s caused. What I dearly want to know Your Holiness is, what is her problem?

So my humble request to you Your Holiness is, please do something about this obnoxious, fluff brained, terrible, horrible and good for nothing girl who is giving us all in the Corporate Division 1546 a mental and nervous breakdown.


Sincerely, Your fed-up Guardian Angel,

Alejandro.


This fiction was written by Banu Kadirgamasamy. You can find her here


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